How to Survive a Sharknado and Other Unnatural Disasters by Andrew Shaffer

Author:Andrew Shaffer [Shaffer, Andrew]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 978-0-553-41814-9
Publisher: Crown Publishing Group
Published: 2014-07-07T16:00:00+00:00

STUDY

WHEN ANIMAL-RIGHTS ACTIVIST Nikki Riley released a pregnant Burmese python from captivity into the Everglades in 2011, she thought she was doing a good deed. Riley had no idea of the havoc she was about to unleash upon the environment. Had she done her research—even a Google search, really—she would have known pythons aren’t native to North America. If allowed to run wild, they will destroy native wildlife—and they did just that.

As the pythons grew, they began killing other predators, such as alligators, coyotes, and panthers, disrupting the food chain. Park ranger Terry O’Hara declared open season on the snakes by introducing steroid-enhanced alligators (see GATOROID).

While the gatoroids thinned the python numbers, several of the snakes got the upper hand against the juiced predators. The pythons absorbed the performance-enhancing drugs, doubling and tripling in size to become “mega pythons.” This was the start of a vicious cycle. Gatoroids that preyed upon the mega pythons increased in size as well, and so on.

After many months of this back and forth, mega pythons and gatoroids the size of school buses were spotted in downtown Miami. Hundreds of people died in the Magic City rumble, including, tragically, Monkees vocalist and drummer Micky Dolenz.

After a heated debate over animal-control tactics, O’Hara and Riley agreed there was only one way to fix the unfolding ecological disaster: Kill them all. They used a crop duster to deploy experimental pheromones over Miami. The reptiles picked the scent up and followed it to a rock quarry, where O’Hara and Riley were waiting. The duo dynamited the mega pythons and gatoroids off the endangered species list and into extinction.

Unfortunately, it was a suicide mission. The O’Hara-Riley Estuary in the Everglades now commemorates their shared sacrifice. “Although they both loved Mother Nature in their own unique way, Nikki Riley and Terry O’Hara learned the hard way that Mother Nature doesn’t always love us back,” mutual acquaintance Diego Ortiz says.

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